Dear Friend and Reader:
Yesterday, the Sunday Times Magazine published an article by Daniel Bergner that explores the work of Canadian sex researcher Meredith Chivers. Dr. Chivers has conducted research that explores the differences between what people think turns them on sexually, and what actually turns them on. She did this by placing probes on or in the genitals to observe sexual excitement (an objective measure) and by providing a keypad to rate what turned the subjects on. Then a diversity of erotic scenes were played on a monitor — apes having sex, women together, men together, men and women together, and so on.
What she discovered is that men pretty much know what tuns them on. Women think very little turns them on, when in fact nearly everything does. I think this study has profound implications on how men and women relate, and also how women tend to relate to the world: if Dr. Chivers is right, with an enormous gap between what they think they want and what they actually want.
Please take a look at the article. I would love to hear your thoughts.
– Eric Francis
I keep getting moderated, so lets see if this works. A piss take of what my mother had to endure when learning about how to be a charming young women way back when…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjxY9rZwNGU
care7care…
Precisely. You sound like me from 17 to about 45, when testosterone/estrogen/oxytocin spun from every pore. You’re gifted, and dynamically-balanced enough to ride it out. Now. Hook it up, babe. Like the captain says, there’s a ruckwerk as the energy pulls into harbor. The deep spin of cumming combines nicely with what the old guys like to call ‘bodhi swaha’ – “hailing the Goer.” With all due respect to the big M, it does take the Other to *see against* while you’re making that move, which will pop loose the Compassionator (yeah, I’m teasing Awwnawld) for a good 48 hours.
If this makes no sense to your outside mind, start at ‘you’re gifted’ and say it outloud a few times.
***
Things have been hotting up nicely ever since I called the cops on the beat-down guy on the evening of the 27th. It prefigured a whole wave… back to it.
M
Even watching a woman give birth turns me on.
Oh and I have to say that when I am fucking for repro, Damn is it HOT and amazing. My visualization as I am getting there is always a hugely pregnant woman being plowed from behind by a man with a huge thick penis. Every time I ram it home with my dh the man rams it home and the whole fecundity of it all drives me wild. I come and come and come from that. So JanesD has a point. Or I visualize that I am a priestess in a field at night fucking for the fertility the fields. My dh becomes that free male buck, lusting and in total rut. God but that is so amazing and HOT.
Ok this article made me think of something different from what I am reading here. It was a validation actually. I have long been aware that so many things turn me on but I have never felt I could express that because my society and culture don’t allow it. In my twenties, I was the one that was “on the prowl” for sex and got it a lot because unlike women, men are far more willing to fuck. Just the picture of the woman in lace with half her breast hanging out there had my juices flowing and my vagina contracting. I get hot SO easy. Fucking in all forms, animal, human, male on male, female on male, female on female even just certain thoughts get me hot. For me, this article blasts that whole bullshit about women not wanting sex as much as men. We DO, and are turned on A LOT but unlike men, we are far more aware of the COSTS of sex in terms of long term committments; or babies. So we repress, repress, repress those hot feelings and just deal with the frustration. We are also aware of the fact that men fear our high desire because they are afraid they cannot satisfy us which translates “she will go with another man/woman/bonobo etc. And men wonder why some of us are SO bitchy? Birth control changed all that for women but society hasn’t caught up with the sex-wanting woman and men fear her because they have performance anxiety; “can I get it up?” Just lick me, who CARES if you get it up or not, you have fingers, a tongue, let me HAVE it! I want to fuck, I want to feel an exploding orgasm, I want to get close!
God but this article is SO freeing.
Sure, biological reproduction may be the biological reason we are wired for orgasms, but it is the huge pleasure of those orgasms that we are going for, not the babies. I certainly was NOT fucking for repro, it was to get OFF, plain and simple! What a release of all that female tension! If our society, the world, would let women express their higher ability to feel desire and get fucked regularly, maybe more of us would be happier, less bitchy, less frustrated and less taking out that frustration on EVERYONE. What a world THAT would be!
Phew, is it hot in here? I wish my husband were here….pardon me while I go release some tension! :::creeping off to my bathroom so the kids don’t hear:::::