The Aries Full Moon is still ringing, just like the whole Earth vibrates like a bell after a big quake. The Moon is still in Aries, after passing through full phase Saturday night — making a conjunction to outer-planet Uranus and a square to Pluto. If people have been acting a little strange, or if they seem like they can’t take the heat, that’s a typical reaction to a Full Moon. But this was no typical Full Moon — it’s been extra energized.
If you’re feeling on edge or like you cannot sleep, that may begin to taper off after the Moon ingresses Taurus later today [at 7:26 pm EDT, after being void of course for a while, which it now is as of this edit Monday morning]. Till then the psychic environment may have an assertive, pushy or even aggressive feeling. One aspect that characterizes this is the Moon’s approaching conjunction to Eris, a Pluto-like planet (Kuiper object) that’s spending a long, long time in late Aries.
That conjunction is exact at about 4:16 am EDT. It might feel a bit combative; you may even be getting weary of anger, or of pushing anything, or of interpersonal issues. If you are, remind yourself of that and make decisions that fit with your emerging values.
What’s interesting is that the Moon, while conjunct Eris, is opposite Mercury and Saturn in Libra. (We are on a kind of Saturn alert, as it changes signs to Scorpio later this week.) So that polarized energy that a Full Moon comes with is finding additional sources of expression, even as it’s still in a loose — but very much present — opposition to the early Aries Sun.
Meanwhile, this is a good time to consider what you’ve been through the past few days and ask where you think you’re headed. The sky is brimming with potential right now; the Uranus-Pluto square (which the Full Moon ‘activated’ or brought to the foreground this weekend) is a big invitation to move your life along. That said, some may be experiencing this as conflict, tension and challenges.
It takes some conscious maneuvering to experience this aspect as energetic or spiritual leverage. If you’re just starting to pick up on it, you might go from sleepy to twitchy in the course of one day, wanting to catch up, spring ahead, get your life going, overthrow injustice and stop global warming all at once. You won’t be able to do any of this unless you get some inner focus and make some decisions — and you’re unlikely to be able to do it all at once.
I am not suggesting that you wait until your life is in order, you’re healed and the Best Person You Can Be before opening yourself up to participating in what you know you’re drawn to or passionate about. Rather, I am suggesting that you get your priorities in order, that you clear a little space to take action (perhaps in increasing increments), and that you recognize how much tension you’re carrying around in your mind and body.
Following your passions is about saying yes to yourself and something larger than yourself. That means letting go of all the ways you’ve talked yourself out of what you want to do and who you want to be. You cannot let go of that tension all at once. It takes a series of decisions, and at first they may feel awkward. You may feel guilty, like you’re betraying someone. You may feel ridiculous for caring, especially if the people around you don’t care and don’t see the point of why you do.
The social aspect of what holds people back — and what helps them go forward — is worth considering. That fits the theme of seeing the many social aspects of Uranus square Pluto: how society’s changes and the changes of individuals are inextricably related. Thing is, you cannot wait for everyone else, and they cannot wait for you.
And you cannot wait for you, either — especially if the thing you’re waiting for is to be true to yourself.
Note to Subscribers: On Tuesday we will be distributing the Inner Space horoscope for October.
Sarah, Paolo –
You have my sympathies 🙂
Now that I’ve finally committed to a major creative project and actually begun it (after chewing on it for years), I’m feeling more tension, not less! Not what I was expecting. That’s why Eric’s post was so exceptionally helpful. I’m wanting to believe that as I settle more deeply into this routine, the rightness of the decision/commitment/focus will take over and help shake out some of this built up, pent up, toxic tension.
My pleasure, dear Paolo! I love Stephen Levine’s work.
Huffy, thank you for that article and meditation. I need this more than I think.
Paola,carissima, this might be of help:
http://www.wellnessgoods.com/forgiveness.asp
All day today traveling home from a retreat where this was a main theme:
“The social aspect of what holds people back — and what helps them go forward — is worth considering. ”
We considered it deeply, helping each other move forward individually and collectively. Now I return to my home space, responsible for my own intention, my own environment. I am going forward. This will require winnowing from the social aspect what holds me back, and cultivating and consciously using that which helps me move forward.
I’m done with the drama of my own making. It’s not good theater.
Fe, “Gee, can we make it any plainer than this?” Nope. It’s beautiful and perfect. Just awesomeness.
On/In/Through
The Doors
Riders On The Storm Lyrics
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Into this house we’re born
Into this world we’re thrown
Like a dog without a bone
An actor out alone
Riders on the storm
There’s a killer on the road
His brain is squirmin’ like a toad
Take a long holiday
Let your children play
If ya give this man a ride
Sweet memory will die
Killer on the road, yeah
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/doors/riders+on+the+storm_20042656.html ]
Girl ya gotta love your man
Girl ya gotta love your man
Take him by the hand
Make him understand
The world on you depends
Our life will never end
Gotta love your man, yeah
Yeah!
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Into this house we’re born
Into this world we’re thrown
Like a dog without a bone
An actor out alone
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Following your passions is about saying yes to yourself and something larger than yourself. That means letting go of all the ways you’ve talked yourself out of what you want to do and who you want to be. You cannot let go of that tension all at once. It takes a series of decisions, and at first they may feel awkward. You may feel guilty, like you’re betraying someone. You may feel ridiculous for caring, especially if the people around you don’t care and don’t see the point of why you do.
Gee, can we make it any plainer than this? I’m literally in the middle of the whirling dervish that is about to become my life in the next year and a half, and I have no time for anything OTHER than that, and maybe to stop a moment or more to smell the roses with my dear ones. But I cannot just sit and wait for them to come to the garden. Got rows to sow!
There is power in those rings as well as chaos. Riders in the Storm!
Mystes:
I already have a man helping me in the kitchen, the day we need to feed over 50.
You and I would have a ball. It would be so fun cooking with you.
Happy trails, Fe. Feed ’em up good…
FEH!!
Working very hard to get myself out of the swamp of work chores and other mundane things before I take off for Turkey on Friday! Even the smallest of decisions seems like a BFD. Like DO YOUR LAUNDRY. MOP THE FLOORS.
Thanks goodness for Uranus Aries energy that just says “go effing do it RIGHT NOW!!!” without all the wailing and dithering. I need that to carry me through packing. God, it feels like I’m having to move from an apartment I’ve lived in for 40 years.
Mystes and Paolo, thank you!
Paolo, your words hit so well what I was meaning. And – ‘the core of you will become a centre of wholeness and it will glow and vibrate confidence and respect’. This is SO beautiful. I had never thought of that in these terms.
Thank you from the deep of my heart.
jinspace! What Sarah said! Like totally. I’m so tight, my neck-brace needs a massage…
Paola,
“Will the sense of guilt and of betraying someone ever ever ever go away???
Or I do have to act even if it is present?
I am learning every day, and others will have different experiences. I think what I can speak to is the distance you may feel from yourself. Are you happy? What makes you smile in the morning? What is absent from your life? Have your sacrifices outweighed your commitment to things, or a thing, that makes you feel joyful? Are those joyous things your own, or someone elses values imposed on you – and are you really finding joy in them? Has anyone superimposed themselves on you, eclipsing your true self? If any of these types of questions are shut down because of guilt and commitment fears, then not only would I think you are asking all the right questions, but you should allow all these doubts and guilt feelings to have a voice and actively confront the source of that which is shutting it down, a person let’s say.
From personal experience, I would say you must act in its presence, but I guarantee you that you will feel more and more empowered every time you approach that threshold. Is it tough? Does it suck balls? Yes. But gradually you will find increasing space for your voice, and slowly bring it into balance with those around you. Don’t fear destruction.
Also in my experience, that sense of push back will force the other to look for alternatives in their own life and to solve some of their own shit instead of putting on everyone else. You will begin this sifting process in whose extraction you will feel a lighter load and a fog will start to lift. Then amazing things start happening. People enter your life that give you something, an opportunity, that say something that is in accord with your dreams. But fundamentally, the core of you will become a centre of wholeness and it will glow and vibrate confidence and respect. Those who can continue in relationship to you in this new paradigm will stay in your life and grow themselves; those who can’t simply fall away from you. Both types will test your resolve.
Just one more thing, it’s important to be as kind as possible. I’m not sure I always was. But then I often look back and not only see that I was kind, but was so immersed in guilt and self reproach that I had every reason to be angry. The levels of “no” were turned up notch by notch. When I found myself in the same battle months later, well, I was volcanic. And people needed to see that from me.
Hope that helps. Peace, love and grooviness.
Eric: Thank you for sewing this exceptional Aries Moon out with the gentle care and diligent scholarship it deserves. Just beautiful.
“now my tension-riddled body just has to catch up with my mind’s new liberation.”
My sentiments entirely, jinspace.
Eric –
I, for one, don’t thank you nearly enough.
“Following your passions is about saying yes to yourself and something larger than yourself… You cannot let go of that tension all at once… You may feel… like you’re betraying someone. You may feel ridiculous for caring, especially if the people around you don’t care and don’t see the point of why you do.”
Yes, yes, yes, yes… though I am at last blessed with people around me who do care, and who do see the point. Or maybe they’ve been there all along, and I’m finally able to see them with clarity. Guilt lifted, now my tension-riddled body just has to catch up with my mind’s new liberation.
Thank you, a huge thank you.
Paola,
Having been on the both ends of that stick, I would say no, not until I made amends. Physical, tangible, not-verbal amends. When I have walked away with a chunk of someone else’s life, if they have trusted me and I trampled that trust, I cannot get back into equilibrium with *myself* until the forfeit has been addressed.
It’s not a linear process though. I’ve gone through periods when I *had* to backburner damage done in order to be able to function responsibly toward the rest of my life. But when it’s time to pick it back up again, you’ll know.
M
Thanks, Huffy 🙂 I write about it more poetically than I’m doing it, but it’s happening, and I’m okay with the edges (and sometimes wedges) of chaos. Hah!
Will the sense of guilt and of betraying someone ever ever ever go away???
Or I do have to act even if it is present?
Has someone gone beyond that? How was it?
Please.
The big picture:
Bad news for Romney on eve of debates!
http://blog.sfgate.com/nov05election/2012/10/01/electoral-college-update-bad-news-for-romney-on-eve-of-debates/
The intimate picture:
Song that was randomly(!) playing at restaurant as I sit outside watching Full Moon Saturday night exact 8:19 AM PST. Just listened to the words, (seriously, incredible) there’s definitely ‘more to the picture than meets the eye’…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMs3PCDM8Eg&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Good for you, Sarah! Inspiring stuff….
Your writing is full of insight and sensibility for the current time quality, thank you.
Cleared some space. Working up a sweat in the gym. Joined yoga classes. Kicked a couple of crappy habits. Loving my friends. Enjoying knocking down a few inner walls. Closed my co-dependent self-give-away; opened my heart and let it all hang out.
Kudos to everyone on their journey.
“I am not suggesting that you wait until your life is on order, you’re healed and the Best Person You Can Be before opening yourself up to participating in what you know you’re drawn to or passionate about. Rather, I am suggesting that you get your priorities in order, that you clear a little space to take action (perhaps in increasing increments), and that you recognize how much tension you’re carrying around in your mind and body”
I *used* to be clear about what I was passionate about – I could easily list it all. But when your world is ripped up and spat out, and, like Dorothy, you land in a strange new world, ill from the Tornado Ride, Clarity becomes a Dust Storm. Not that any of this is thwarting me.
I am picking up some watercolors today. When in doubt, open the self to a new mode and dabble. No expectations, just experimentation. But, hopefully, like Dorothy, I will discover some Truths, so that, when healed from the Ride, I will be reconnected with my Passion and Focus.
Well said, Eric. I am clinging to a small boat that tosses amidst much turmoil in those around me. Beginnings and endings around life, job, relationship, money, family; extreme actions leading to extreme breakthroughs in making contact with the wounding and emptiness in inner self. Many taking steps to heal long time addictions or in some way “come out of the closet.” Their struggles have triggered memories; the past is parading before me as a review of who I was and what still needs to be forgiven and released. The only difference between me and them is timing-I had to spend most of my life coming to terms with the inner dragon. It’s as if everyone is getting ready for a big opera, working to establish clarity and wholeness in self in time for some grand transformation.
This stuff is hitting me in an area of my life that was, until now, reliable. The past six months to a year that area has now been very unreliable and causing me some angst. My first thought is a worry that the reliability is gone forever; my second thought is how to cope if that’s the case and my third thought is a desire to change it back to what it was or at least some degree of what it was. This sucks.
I am proving to be exceptionally sensitive to Cardinal Cross – Uranus/Pluto activity (Sun Libra 8/4th, Pallas Cancer 8/1st, and Eris Aries 10/10th). It has been a *horrible* two weeks for me both at home and at work, culminating with the full moon over the weekend. Everything I’ve depended on in the past is being broken down, and much of what is in my present can’t be depended on. I’ve spent the better part of the past two weeks crying and emoting to my partner and a trusted friend, *yet not unnecessarily burning bridges.* Having what PW provides to me as a subscriber keeps calling me to be mindful and mature as I navigate these storms of life. Thanks and blessings as always, Eric, to you and your amazing staff.
Kudos Eric!
Most welcome Paolo.
Friday night before embarking on a long-planned mission, I sent my father access to Book of Blue — a selected, edited and illustrated version that’s approaching being ready for publication. This was in exactly the spirit that you describe.
Hi Eric,
You must get a lot of thank you’s in any given day, and I trust that your Pisces nature can sense the different layers of sincerity in those comments. Please know that this short article is reflective of so much work I’ve been doing. That your comments and guidance along these lines have helped me understand important relationship (familial and intimate) dynamics, particularly with guilt, and particularly with my mother. EVERY aspect of this piece today, I’ve walked through, esp the weekend, and with an experiment I consciously created as an opportunity for deep patterns to emerge, break apart and evolve. And I can see through my incremental assertions and corresponding guilt, that I am indeed on the right path in the right direction.
Please accept my sincere gratitude.
Paolo
It’s time *wink
Thank you, Eric.
” That means letting go of all the ways you’ve talked yourself out of what you want to do and who you want to be. ”
I think that’s the key to what it feels like I’m missing. That and the rest of that paragraph.
I’m glad I saw this tonight, before bed.
Now to figure out which things to bring back into my life. I’ve rationaled so much away…