By Amanda Moreno
It seems like the number of people approaching me on the verge of, or very much enduring, some kind of existential crisis has increased quite a bit lately.
I’ve encountered clients facing fear of death or dreams of annihilation by asteroid; friends with families in crisis; colleagues feeling rage over a court verdict, or the lack of coverage of Fukushima, or just expressing malaise at the state of the world.
And most of the time what I want to talk to them about is spirituality and the search for meaning. But I feel like I have to find the right language, like that’s such a loaded term — one that can evoke a whole slew of negative associations. And I hate it when language gets in the way.
This past weekend I was wandering around one of the massive parks that grace the city of Seattle, trying to get back into my body after a week of intense training of the shamanic kind. I was sitting on the grass, staring across the lake at a view of Mt. Rainier. There are days when that mountain, shouting out above the tops of the Cascade Range, is so surreal in its picturesque beauty that I can’t help but take a deep breath, let my jaw drop and wonder at how epic the chance to dance around this Earth really is.
I then began to think about the natural violence that has shaped the Earth — from volcano to wind to shifting plates — and the ways in which that violence is not malicious, but instead necessarily transformative and creative. Somehow that linked into this thread of wondering how to find a word or term for “spirituality” that is more expressive and more cyclical — and less loaded. And I realized that in order to try to shift the language, I have to try to understand what spirituality means to me.
In my world, spirituality is writhing and deep. It transcends downward, as water or lava or snake. Sometimes it digs up old residues or drags shit down to the depths to coax it into molten state so it can flow, and cool, and re-form. It knows the energies of the Earth and can become them in order to learn how to structure reality, bring the knowledge back to the surface and then embody, bloom and grow in the light. And I have to work with it with reverence and respect — and quite a bit of humor.
My focus on the depth is one of the reasons I cringe when I hear the word “spirituality.” Because that word takes me instantly to thoughts of crystals and bubbles of light and all kinds of New Age “woo.” I’ve gotten past associating spirituality with religion — because the latter is only a part of the former. And it’s not to say that woo isn’t helpful too — in fact, I refer to myself as a fan of Practical Woo (P-Dub).
I’ve definitely become a fan of the allies I’ve found in crystals and upper world journeys and heaping doses of gratitude and joy. But I believe that the only way through the complex jumble that is the modern experience is to feel — and express — our way through our spirituality, and through our evolution. I believe that evolution occurs through the emotional body, which translates and anchors all of those bubbles of light to the physical world.
Embodiment and experimentation are the aspects of experience that are sacred to me, and I’m infinitely wary of anything that encourages bypassing straight to the mental. That’s why the metaphor of a spirituality that runs deep, rather than just soaring to heights, makes sense to me.
But then there’s the whole issue of the stigma of “spirituality,” which seems to be due largely in part to its conflation with “religion.” What is poignant for me right now is a deep fear of the anguish and emptiness that can come when faith is lost or when god has left; the floundering and depression that can come with a change in personal mythology. Even if it’s just a change in a simple belief, like the belief that romance will last forever. Or a betrayal of the trust that doing what has heart and meaning will pay the bills.
Or perhaps the loosening of an identification with the archetype of priestess or warrior or artist. There is so much wounding around belief — which I believe is the function at the crux of it all — especially when we can’t think outside of spirituality’s consolidated form: religion. Once faith — in god, in love, in family — is broken, how do we endure the pain, let alone heal it? And why even bother going there in the first place?
I don’t believe that immersion in bubbles of light is the go-to healing remedy for such pain, nor do I think that ritual for the sake of tradition offers much consolation for deep levels of soul change — at least not on their own, or maybe just not for me. But I do believe and hope that something is emerging as we shift paradigms (well, assuming we are). It might be more of a seeker’s spirituality, individualized and yet universal. Whatever it is, I hope it has enough space for flexibility and ambiguity. Because I don’t see us getting very far without strategies for dealing with both.
Great post Amanda. It is a dynamic and difficult process taking place which maybe deserves a different word altogether, not sure what.
Chief – thank you for bringing that up and for including Jung. Incredible what a difference a translation can make. You’ve contributed greatly to my own understanding.
Truly wonderful, Amanda. Thank you.
Great writing Amanda, you touch on many important topics. Your words move me to share a little Carl Jung:
“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
Part of the linguistic confusion around spirituality is that it is a word that was imported to the English language without bringing it’s meaning along. When the bible was translated in English the latin word “spiritus” was anglicized as “spirit,” rather than translated as “breath.” Can’t let the yokels know that the Holy Breath is inside of them in every moment, it makes intermediaries unnecessary.
Because of this the word spirit, and in turn spirituality are used in so many different ways that we cannot find a core meaning. The result is that people who are looking to bypass real spiritual healing get off on crystals and disembodied states of consciousness. It’s a form of escapism, trying to get away from the karmic forces that led them to a precious human incarnation. Once incarnation is chosen then the fullest possible embodiment of the Holy Breath (energy body) becomes a potent opportunity, and a form of spirituality that embraces the spirit, the breath that has itself taken incarnation.
For all the recent trauma the world has witnessed this past few weeks, it is even more important than ever to remember WE ARE DREAMING.
When you focus on the crap that is happening and allow your imagination to dream up how worse the scenarios can get, you are creating in the dream! Stop putting so much attention there and like a dream it will disappear.
Wake up!!!!! This is all a collective dream. Israel, with Netenyahu in charge, has been going around trying to start WWIII for years. They couldn’t so it in Syria, so they created ISIS to invade Iraq again. Iran has never gone along with Israel’s “bag guy” role, they keep being peaceful and not developing the nuclear bombs that Israel has stockpiles of.
Ukraine was already part of Russia and Russia never invaded a place that they already had troops in. So this latest 777 shoot down is another Bullshit operation. Notice that the Gaza invasion by Israel happened the same day, as if it was all scripted!!!!
So WAKE the F*** UP! It is a dream! Remember when Republican strategists announced openly that they “create reality”? Yep. They are dreaming! We create even stronger dreams of peace every night, now wake up and start creating dreams of peace in true reality!
Aaaah, thanks for that bit of Rilke. My mind has been working in poetry a lot lately!
Trust of the inner processes and then bringing what is found there out into the world – that does indeed seem essential! Amazing how difficult it can be to trust oneself!
I’ve also been amazed at the level people in my life are willing to place power outside of themselves and wait for salvation to arrive – via angel, government, ufo, or lover. Not that I haven’t done my fair share of that too. The angelic dimension of spirituality is yet another one that seems to have been distorted and focalized into some salvationist, outward-focused mechanism, and I find that fact to be quite sad. It’s also a topic that feels too huge to be squeezed into that last sentence. But I do think that Angels – whatever that means to the individual – can be such incredible guides, allies and teachers, especially when it comes to nurturing that spark of inner truth.
Yes, Amanda I agree that spirituality is desperately in need of grounding in the physical. I see so many people giving all their power, all their vital force to a concept and or organization to do their work for them. And it is work. Wether it is to grow thru a relationship, an illness a creative project, whatever your work is, it’s an inside job. Why place it out there.
My mother’s favorite saying is “god willing” yet she placed all her energy outside of herself waiting for a team of angels to make things happen. It feels like a cop-out to me.
Embodiment is perhaps the way, I struggle too, trusting my inner process and encouraging others. Isn’t that the essence of it all?
To quote Rilke:
A billion stars go spinning through the night,
blazing high above your head.
But IN you is the presence that
will be, when all the stars are dead.