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THOSE WHO KNOW the name Betty Dodson surely share the same joy and reverence for the woman who taught the world that masturbation is beautiful and natural. From this starting place, she has handed us an unmistakable message that erotic expression is a natural celebration of life. Betty is the author of Sex for One, which, through its many incarnations, has been printed about a million times (many of those were hand stapled by the author). But this doesn't really tell you much. Born in Wichita (Wichita!), she arrived in New York City to work as a fine artist, but after a divorce in her mid-30s, began to encounter sex-negative people and experiences -- particularly, noticing that our culture creates shame, guilt and fear about masturbation and pleasure like it makes toxic waste. So, after a few awakening experiences, she went to work, in those socially and politically active days of the early 1970s, with talks, erotic art exhibits, consciousness-raising groups and finally an article for Ms. magazine in which she came out of the closet (to the general public) with her ideas about masturbation and pleasure. It is difficult today to understand how much guts this required, because, a) the so-called sexual revolution ignored and disdained masturbation and, b) there were many parties who had an interest in women remaining ignorant about their own bodies and in particular their pleasure: not just men, not just the psychiatric community, not just the priests and the Pope, but also feminists themselves, many of whom were mortified or threatened by the idea that somebody would teach masturbation! Or admit to it! Make them admit that they tickled their own clitty with that childish conduct! Compel or perhaps entice lesbians (back then somewhat a less free-thinking bunch than they are today) confront The Dildo. (The story of lesbians and dildos in the '70s and early '80s is probably best told by someone who was there, but it is worth telling.) Betty challenged feminists on the issue of pleasure, and she did it with pleasure. There is, after all, no arguing with an orgasm. Here is an historical artifact that might give you some perspective. The original Ms. magazine piece on masturbation was held up for two years in editing and went through ten drafts! By the end, it was (thanks to editorial guidance designed to make it clear that Ms. editors did not personally endorse masturbation) a lengthy self-confession, explaining everything in I-statements. To test the water, the editor asked her to include an address for additional information, and after a few weeks she was swamped with 4,000 requests. This is how Sex for One was born -- she had to send all those people something coherent. Betty has influenced our entire generation of pleasure activists: Annie Sprinkle, Joe Kramer, Susie Bright and many others. Back when I thought I was just polyamorous, Betty pointed me, more than any therapist, astrologer, spiritual teacher or homeopath, to the simple fact that I had to love myself. There have been tens, hundreds of thousands, millions of people who have actually gotten this message, for real. But every one who got their start on Sex for One or the Selfloving video knows where that fire got lit. If we are experiencing a bisexual revolution today, we can thank Betty for having the guts to refuse to commit to being straight or queer when it was really dangerous and socially out-to-lunch to do so. But she was, and is, quite committed to that beyond-queerness called masturbation: what she calls the ongoing love affair that we must have with ourselves in order to be happy. Betty's 72nd birthday is Friday, August 24th. (She is a Virgo and Virgo rising with an Aries Moon, and Neptune in her ascendant -- suggestive of her gift for visual art and in particular, video). Her chart, actually, is one of the more awesome charts I have ever seen for the major asteroids, indicating what can happen when these girls get to express their power. But she also has Chiron on her North Node in the 9th house, in the sign Taurus. This is a healing and trailblazing role (Chiron) as an evolutionary necessity (North Node) in her 9th house (of spiritual teaching and the Higher Self) in the sign Taurus (self-value, selflove, the body, and masturbation). Of the many people whose charts I have read, she is surely one of the most bold, adventurous and determined to bring her astrology into the world at full-power. One of my favorite Betty quotes (you will have to insert the tone of bemused, incredulous outrage) is, "Safe sex! Safe sex! Everybody's talking about safe sex! Who's going to SAVE sex?" Betty's most vital teaching, as I see it, is that sexual awareness and literacy are two of the most important things in the universe. In honor of her birthday, I've been posting some of my favorite links to sexpositive and erotica sites, including the two best spots (that we know of) on the Web to obtain high-quality sex toys from women-run stores: Toys in Babeland (here in Seattle) and Good Vibrations (in Berkeley). There's a bunch about Betty at Sexuality.org, if you're in for a little adventure, and her own site is a trip. Yesterday we offered this very interesting link on the legal age of consent for sexual activities. The most fascinating thing about this chart is the extreme variance from country to country -- but more notably, from state to state. Note also that in some commonly -visited and often lived-in places like Florida, having sex with a person of your own gender is against the law. I propose we have a cock-and-cunt-in at the Florida State House. Yesterday we presented two additional, astonishing and practically unlimited archives of erotic materials: Nifty.org and asstr.org. The day before we offered this link about an interesting tribe far from your neighborhood but on your planet, and previously, this link from the Solo homepage of about a thousand very hot masturbation stories of all kinds. Just to give you an idea, our selection committee stayed up late the other night and worked very hard and after a long debate has chosen one in particular for its excellent presentation and superior literary value. And kids, listen up, just remember, if you are under 18 years of age, don't you dare click on any of those links! Remember, nobody under 18 allowed! Get your fingers off your mouse! And for those of you of pure moral integrity, these links contain all kinds of intriguing... things... that you may not have considered or heard about. We don't endorse any of the activities mentioned, of course, but they are indeed educational resources for devoted, sincere, mature adult scholars of human nature. Such as yourself. Wishing you many orgasms
with yourself, and with good friends, this is,
tell someone how much you love to masturbate!  |
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